One day we were all sitting together on sand dunes at summer camp joking about boys. We braided friendship bracelets and confessed crushes. The years flew by and those crushes took us to prom. We went to college, danced on table tops, screaming the words to Kelly Clarkson, and — as the bar closed down — “Closing Time”. We made our way into various careers and forged our way through this world. Then it happened. Everyone else in the group found their person. Those who didn’t finally confessed they’d never wanted guys anyway. They found their happiness on a beach in Cancun with another girl.
And I was left. And like those in other friends groups across the world who were left like me, I questioned myself. I stared at my reflection. I made a pact with myself to find a plastic surgeon when I turned 35. But truly, when I took a long hard look at myself, all I saw staring back was a woman who just didn’t make the cut.
If I’m honest, and if I’m confident in myself, I have a body that nobody would hate on. I have a nose that plastic surgeons borrow for inspiration. I am funny. I have a job that has inspired the content of multiple TV shows. Dogs always immediately find me in a room and climb on my lap to go to sleep. Little children lean against my shoulder and tell their parents they love me. Now and again someone recognizes my name from being the top scorer in that one standardized test I fluke nailed. Strangers at bus stops will randomly tell me I’m pretty (clearly the mask covers all sins).
I have three sisters. Four best friends. Six excellent friends. Thirteen women I would want to be part of my wedding. Every single one of them is either married or in a long-term relationship. I am the only one who is not. Maybe it is timing. Maybe it is my ambition that’s pushed me to climb up and up in my career. Maybe I genuinely am not cut out to be a long-term girlfriend. Whatever it is, it has left me left behind.
I’m not alone. I know so many of us are in the same boat. So many of us are stunningly beautiful, smart enough to make MENSA, and kind enough to seduce a whole room, yet cannot find their person.
As we get older, the question we always ask ourselves is: Will it ever be me?
My youngest sister is getting married this fall. I will be a bridesmaid for the ninth time. If nothing else, that should speak to what I’m like with people. If nine different women have liked me enough to actually make me a part of the biggest day of their lives, how does it figure that every single night I go to bed alone?
I don’t write this or share this to make a self-pitying statement. I write it because I know so many people who will read it will understand. So many women will feel this way. Will it ever be me? Will it ever be us?
You’re not alone, girl. I refuse to believe that the fact that I am alone at 28 is indicative of a flaw in me. I refuse to believe that there is a flaw in you. Sometimes it just happens. But I also refuse to be okay with it. There is nothing wrong with me. There is nothing wrong with you.
There is absolutely no shame in nailing life in your own way, but sometimes looking at yet another ring flashed on Instagram Stories, you can’t help but wonder if it will ever be you. There is no shame in going home after yet another endless bridal shower and crying yourself to sleep. There is no shame in turning around and around in the mirror trying to find a flaw to justify this status in life to yourself. You won’t find a flaw. There aren’t any.
My Dad always laughs and says it will be fine. He’s walked two of my younger sisters down the aisle. He’s walking the third and last this fall. In his mind, apparently, because so many tourists stopped us in D.C. asking to take a picture with me thinking I was a model, I will eventually find someone.
It’s not how it works.
I don’t know if it will ever be me. But I hope this makes you all realize that it isn’t you. Sometimes it’s just timing. Sometimes it’s just life. Sometimes it’s just nothing at all.
About Artiz Studio:
Free from the influence of time & place, our portraits capture a moment that is timeless. This is our aim when capturing any photo. As a child, I was deeply moved when I saw a photo of my grandparents together, bathed in a soft red light. I can never forget the impression that photo left on me, it had a large impact on me and my photography. I wish for brides and grooms to have the same feelings that I experienced when they receive their portraits. The most beautiful moments of loving couples should be retained forever. — Founder Kim Yong Seon
Founded In Busan, Korea Since 2008, South Korea Network KBS Central Has Named Artiz As One Of The Leading Bridal Fashion Icon And Wedding Provider For Authentic Korean-Style Photography. Capturing Timeless Portraits For More Than 20 Million Couples Throughout The 45 Situated Studio Locations. Our Unique Background Setting Crafted By SBS Korea Landscape Designers Has Propelled Artiz Within The Ranks Of Luxury Wedding Photography Elites Throughout The World, Delivering World-Leading Standards And Services.
Ushering In Artiz Global Success Was The Expansion To Singapore’s Wedding Scene In 2017 And Has Been Crowned Unanimously As Singapore’s Largest Indoor Wedding Studio And Sole Provider For Authentic Korean-Style Wedding Photography.
Our Extensive Portfolio Of Over 200 A-List Celebrities Endorsements And Mutual Collaborative Shoots With Local Top-Tier Influencers And Media Publications Has Propelled Artiz Into The Ranks Of Singapore’s Wedding Elites. This Includes Jian Hao Tan (Frobes 30 Under 30, 2016) With His Now Wife Debbie Soon (Influencer), Jade Rasif (Rank #2 South East Asia DJ, 2020), Naomi Neo (Singapore’s Most Followed Female Influencer, 2020) As Well As LGBTQ Activism Shoot For Andee Chua And Hugo Lim (Youtuber Influencer, Runway Model And LGBTQ Activist)
Artiz Has Seen To Also Paved The Way For Luxury Wedding And Bridal Providers, Having Earned Featured Publications In Over 200 Global Media Channels Worldwide Such As ELLE, COSMOPOLITAN BRIDE, VOGUE & HERWORLD Singapore
Your Wedding Day Is One Of The Most Important Days In Everyone’s Life, And We Hope That It Would Be Captured In Every Detail. Artiz Promises A Distinctive Style & Fresh POV To Photography By Shooting Natural Expressions And Moments Of Each Bride & Groom , Which Leave Not Only A Memory But Also Touches The Soul. Our Timeless Glamour And Luxurious Ambience Has Earned Us The Reputation As The Premier Studio Where Stars Have Chosen To Express Their Love Story.
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Website at: https://www.artizstudio.sg/
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